Breaking the Chains of Unhappiness: Embracing the Benefits of Marriage Counseling

Dispelling the fear and highlighting the benefits of marriage counseling.

No one enjoys explaining the reasons for their unhappiness in their relationship, especially to a stranger.  In my practice, I noticed it is not until the frustration becomes greater than the fear of speaking to a counselor that a couple finally reaches out for help.  I am not here to judge, and I am happy to help, but I just want you to know you don’t need to wait for things to hit that boiling point.

This article is to help dispel the fear and highlight the benefits of couples counseling.  You will be surprised.  It can not only have a direct benefit on your future but also on those around you.

“Do We Really Need to See a Marriage Counselor?”

Marital therapy is an important part of a healthy relationship, but many couples avoid it because they don't want to admit they need help. They think they're the only ones who have issues this bad in their marriage and they want to keep it a secret.  After all, what would others think?

But the truth is, most couples go through rocky patches at some point. And if you're going through one now, you're not alone. In fact, more than half of married couples seek marital counseling at some point in their relationship.  The good news is that couples therapy had a positive impact on 70% of couples receiving treatment.

So what's holding you back? Is it fear? embarrassment? Or perhaps you just don't know how to find a good counselor or where to start?

We've put together this article to help you overcome common objections so that you can get the help your marriage needs—and deserve!

Men and Women Think Differently – Even About Seeing a Therapist

While both men and women may avoid marriage counseling for similar reasons, such as fear, embarrassment, or pride, there may be some gender-specific reasons as well.

Men may avoid marriage counseling due to:

• Stereotypes of men as strong and unemotional, and not needing help with emotional or relationship issues.
• Fear of being judged for not being able to "fix" problems on their own.
• A belief is that counseling is for "weak" men or that it is only for when problems are severe.

Women may avoid marriage counseling due to:

• A belief that they are responsible for the success of the relationship and that they should be able to fix problems on their own.
• Fear of being judged or blamed for the problems in the relationship.
• Stereotypes of women as emotional or "overly sensitive" and a belief that counseling is only for "emotional" women.

It's important to note that these are only generalizations and there are many men and women who seek counseling and have positive experiences. Seeking counseling is a sign of strength and courage, and not a weakness, regardless of gender.

What Can a Marriage Counselor Do for Your Relationship?

When thinking about how your relationship could benefit from marriage counseling, here are 5 benefits to keep in mind.

1. A marriage counselor or therapist can help couples work through problems in their marriage by providing a neutral and safe space for them to express their feelings and concerns. They can help couples improve communication, increase understanding and empathy, and develop tools and strategies to better manage conflicts and stressors in their relationship.
2. A relationship counselor can also help couples identify underlying issues that may be contributing to the problems in their marriage. For example, they may explore past traumas or conflicts that may be impacting the relationship or maybe causing unresolved emotional issues.  If a partner’s reaction is much greater than what the situation calls there, it could indicate a deeper issue needing to be addressed.
3. A marital therapist can help couples to set goals for their relationship and work together to achieve them.   For example, setting aside dedicated time each week to talk openly and honestly about emotions and needs related to balancing work and home life. 
4. A marital counselor can help couples to understand their patterns of interaction and how they may be impacting the relationship negatively, and help them to learn new ways of interacting with each other to improve their relationship.
5. Another benefit of speaking with a couples counselor is understanding the importance of self-care and learning specific ways to take care of themselves, emotionally and mentally.  This can help couples be more present and effective in their day-to-day interactions.

It is important to the therapist does not have superpowers to "fix" a relationship, but they can help couples to understand themselves and each other better, and provide them with tools and strategies to improve their relationship. However, it is important that both partners are willing to participate and engage in the process. 

Growing Deeper in Your Relationship Through Marriage Counseling 

Couples who complete marriage counseling often gain a deeper sense of commitment and emotional intimacy because they were able to work through difficult issues and come to understand each other on a deeper level. 

If you find yourself caught in a cycle of failing attempts to get your relationship back on track, seek a qualified marriage counselor.  The right marital therapist can provide a safe, non-judgmental environment for you to share your story and help you and your partner build a more satisfying relationship. 

If you are interested in learning more, please contact Darryl Donlin, LCSW at This Is NOW Counseling by clicking on the "Request a Free Consultation" link below.  Select a time that is convenient for you to begin a conversation.